I have a question niggling my noggin, lovely reader.
It also happens to be President’s Day in the USA, and I know it’s been a week (or… a long time more) of questioning the humanity and morals of what it means to be a representative of those living in America. So, perhaps this question is timely…
What defines you?
Admittedly, the source of how that question came up was due to an indulgent watch of Confessions of a Shopaholic—which, while quite corny, has a couple of one-liners that I had to jot down to myself to remember. Like, “Cost and worth are two very different things.”
Ever get a feeling or nudge to watch or read something in particular, even if it’s something you’ve already seen or read? I get that all the time, and I certainly love to listen to that nudge since I’ve come to trust it to know that I’m going to get something out of it this time that’s perfectly relevant to something going on in my life. A message is in it that I need to receive. Apparently, Confessions was my source this time…
This time, “What defines you?” stood out as I finished up the film.
Is it your career or creative projects? Your skills or talents? Your family? Your house? Your money or belongings? Or perhaps it’s something less concrete, less what you do, and more like who you are being?
Now I’m going to pull out another movie quote (like I always do), though its source is a book… See if you can guess which movie it is:
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
And I think that’s an important distinction to make.
We get to choose what we do with our lives.
We get to choose what we do with our money.
We get to choose what we say or not say, do or not do.
We get to choose how we respond to what life throws at us.
We get to choose what we think and how we think.
In the end, our choices will distinguish and define us more than almost anything else.
So I pose these questions to you as they are the questions I’m asking myself…
Are your thoughts and choices reflecting what matters most to you?
Are you choosing to respond to life in a way that reflects your values?
And at the end of the day, are you proud of who you are being?
Growing up, I was often labeled as “the girl who sings in the bathroom” and “the walking sweet tooth.” I love singing and I love sweets—those are just small pieces of who I am and not the whole picture by any means. It’s how other people perceived me and these were the labels I liked best since they made me laugh while also being true. However, I’m not defined by these monikers.
Since I’m presently taking a break from social media, I find myself in yet another moment of checking in with myself, taking space to redefine (if necessary) and rewrite unhelpful beliefs, practices, and behaviors into something more constructive and more aligned with who I am. It’s easy to get distracted and far too easy to fall into what other people expect from you and the endless competition/comparison trap that comes with the endless scrolling. I don’t try to compete with anyone but myself, and in the last few years, I haven’t felt like sharing.
Only now am I beginning to crack open my process again to share with you.
It’s very fun to learn and peel back more layers of who I naturally am (especially thanks to Human Design for that). In getting to know more of myself, I’m learning who I want to be moving forward with that intel. In recognizing the kind of person I want to be and how I naturally operate, I can choose to better align with that vision (for example, like someone who loves to exercise regularly for health and wellness since I miss doing that, and I’m definitely doing better in that regard and feeling better because of it too—win!).
Right now, I’m choosing to get to know myself better and to follow what I feel guided to do, and it may not always be what’s “expected” from me. Trusting my intuition and instincts to know what the next right step is. And sharing this letter with you is part of it. So thank you for being here! <3
Ultimately, I’m learning that I’m defined by no one but myself, and my definition is in constant evolution—and that feels exciting. Like there’s always something new to discover, explore, integrate, or even release. Nothing wrong with a work in progress!
Just as I love to uncover more layers, I love to further understand the people and the world around me. I find we are all reflections of each other to some degree. We all have something to learn, and sometimes what we most need to discover about ourselves comes to us through other people (just like I find nuggets in rewatching movies as I feel inspired to).
So, perhaps in each other, we can also find a little more definition and purpose.
And (hopefully) definitely more love and compassion. We really need that these days.
What have you learned about yourself lately? I’d love to know!
Comment below and let me know your thoughts.