35 years. I’ve been alive for 35 years as of Friday.
More and more, I’m noticing places in my life where I’ve been skirting responsibility, apologizing for choices I’ve made that actually feel good for me (despite going against what people expect of me, even myself), minimizing the work I’ve done, and even avoiding stepping up where I really need to step the eff up and do the work, instead of just procrastinating and waiting for something to happen to make it happen.
And it’s not always easy to see where I’m not stepping up. I have blindspots, just like everyone else. So, I’m grateful now for the awareness I have, and the people and experiences that illuminate them for me.
Because when you know better, you do better.
Hopefully anyway.
It’s all a work in progress. Even 35 years in… All I know is that I expect it to get better from here. And that also means that I need to do what I can to make myself better—to learn, grow, keep my mind and heart open, and take action as I need to.
The call to stand up in myself, for myself, and toward the life I want is like a blaring fire alarm right now. Like I conceptually know the things I need to do and why… and now it’s like they are demanding the care and attention I’ve been avoiding giving them.
Change is coming, though it may not be visible to anyone else right now. Just know this…
Your age is not an expiration date, ever.
You can always choose differently. In fact, I’d expect it if you’re constantly learning and growing. Life is meant to challenge us to reveal where our path truly lies. It’s okay to shift as more becomes illuminated for you.
There’s always room for growth and change.
And there’s still time for you to write your book.
Must be these new moon solar eclipse vibes landing right on my birthday/solar return triggering all this… Whatever the reason, I’m here for it.
Here are a few questions to see what might be revealing itself to you right now:
- What pieces of your past are bubbling up to your attention? Ask them why they are coming to your awareness now.
- What have you been avoiding? Why?
- Where are you hoping someone else will swoop in and take care of it? Why?
- What are you procrastinating on? Why?
- What/who do you need to forgive so you can let go and move forward?
- Where are you being hard on yourself? Why?
- Where can you offer yourself more grace and compassion?
And finally… Put your hand on your heart, breathe a few times, and ask:
- What does my heart want me to know right now?
- What is it my soul asks of me right now?
It’s a great weekend for introspection with the solar eclipse yesterday, so feel free to muse or journal on these questions. I know I have been.
See you next time.
Onwards and upwards!