Now & Then, Then & Now

Have you ever paused to look back and see how far you’ve come?

If you haven’t, this is a practice I recommend at least once (or every 9, 10, or 12 years—those are a few life cycle period lengths). This could be through an old blog, journal, conversations with folks, or even just reflecting on what you knew then versus what you know now.

I think you might surprise yourself.

A few days ago, I found myself in a rabbit hole of my blogs from way back when (10-13 years ago), and I found myself laughing, face palming, and thinking, “Gosh, did I really have no shame in sharing this?”

Is it weird that I found Young Me quite hilarious? I hope I still have some of that humor hanging around because I don’t think I realized how funny I was—I was just having fun, sharing my performing, dating, and life antics.

However, I also found that Young Me still had some wisdom to share, like why I decided to break up with the scale because I realized weight is just a number and not an actual indicator of health, wanting to keep music in schools because creativity is essential for kids’ wellbeing, being honest with kids/teens about what protected sex actually is and means because the state I lived in had one of the highest numbers of teen pregnancy in the country, and a few other posts that had my eyebrows raised in surprise because I wasn’t sure I remembered writing them, but clearly I had.

Even though I’ve always felt relatively smart because I got good grades and was one of those weird kids who actually liked school, it’s always reaffirming to have something you said come back to you in a way that shows how wise you were, are, and can be.

This is helpful because oftentimes I don’t remember what I’ve said or written, which is why it helps for me to write things down for posterity.

One of the challenges of being a medium where you just channel energy through you constantly—you barely remember what you’ve said but others do!

Also, how fun is it to have that kind of archive or time capsule to show you how you were then so you can clearly see how you are now. How you’ve grown. How your interests or passions have shifted or deepened. How your view of the world has changed. How you choose what is no longer for public consumption (ahem, Young Me, we may need to have a talk, ha—I still have compassion for you, though!).

Because… We aren’t meant to stay the same. We are here to change, to shift, to adapt. We are meant to grow, to understand more of what we ultimately desire to experience in our lives. As we move through life, we are faced with choices, roadblocks, detours, pain, loss, newfound delights, and all kinds of relationship shenanigans… And all of it shapes us as we go along.

It’s like we can’t help but change one way or another. And there’s always something new to learn from our experiences as we go.

So, that also means it helps to have grace and compassion for who we used to be… Because if it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t be who we are now.

And that feels like a powerful thing to remember right now.