Have you ever paused to look back and see how far you’ve come?
If you haven’t, this is a practice I recommend at least once (or every 9, 10, or 12 years—those are a few life cycle period lengths). This could be through an old blog, journal, conversations with folks, or even just reflecting on what you knew then versus what you know now.
I think you might surprise yourself.
A few days ago, I found myself in a rabbit hole of my blogs from way back when (10-13 years ago), and I found myself laughing, face palming, and thinking, “Gosh, did I really have no shame in sharing this?”
Is it weird that I found Young Me quite hilarious? I hope I still have some of that humor hanging around because I don’t think I realized how funny I was—I was just having fun, sharing my performing, dating, and life antics.
However, I also found that Young Me still had some wisdom to share, like why I decided to break up with the scale because I realized weight is just a number and not an actual indicator of health, wanting to keep music in schools because creativity is essential for kids’ wellbeing, being honest with kids/teens about what protected sex actually is and means because the state I lived in had one of the highest numbers of teen pregnancy in the country, and a few other posts that had my eyebrows raised in surprise because I wasn’t sure I remembered writing them, but clearly I had.
Even though I’ve always felt relatively smart because I got good grades and was one of those weird kids who actually liked school, it’s always reaffirming to have something you said come back to you in a way that shows how wise you were, are, and can be.
This is helpful because oftentimes I don’t remember what I’ve said or written, which is why it helps for me to write things down for posterity.
One of the challenges of being a medium where you just channel energy through you constantly—you barely remember what you’ve said but others do!
Also, how fun is it to have that kind of archive or time capsule to show you how you were then so you can clearly see how you are now. How you’ve grown. How your interests or passions have shifted or deepened. How your view of the world has changed. How you choose what is no longer for public consumption (ahem, Young Me, we may need to have a talk, ha—I still have compassion for you, though!).
Because… We aren’t meant to stay the same. We are here to change, to shift, to adapt. We are meant to grow, to understand more of what we ultimately desire to experience in our lives. As we move through life, we are faced with choices, roadblocks, detours, pain, loss, newfound delights, and all kinds of relationship shenanigans… And all of it shapes us as we go along.
It’s like we can’t help but change one way or another. And there’s always something new to learn from our experiences as we go.
So, that also means it helps to have grace and compassion for who we used to be… Because if it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t be who we are now.
And that feels like a powerful thing to remember right now.
Imagine your skin tingling from head to toe, your heart hammering on in a dancing rhythm, your breathing quickening in excitement, and your brain lighting up and expanding with possibilities…
I can count two times in my life when I got this excited about a job offer…
The first was for an internship for a local news broadcast station right out of college. I’d met a producer while working as a media intern for my university’s sports department. After helping him out in the TV production van for a televised basketball game, he invited me to apply for the internship for the news station. He thought I might like it.
I remember walking into the newsroom and feeling the buzz of everything—and immediately felt how excited I would be to work there. I remember when he said, “It’s safe to say you got the job!” And I felt like crying because it felt like such an exciting opportunity to grow into and learn from. I remember thinking, “This feels like Disneyland!”
Yep, that excited.
Ended up completing the internship, then was offered a part-time evening production assistant job a handful of months later. And I loved working there, I truly did. Every bit of it.
But then I realized, several months later, that I wanted a job with 9-5 work hours so I could still do theatre in the evenings—for what I felt was a balanced life where I could still be creative and have a steady job. So, I loved working in the newsroom, but my other creative passions were calling for my attention.
My Disneyland needed a shift.
Around that same time, I got another invitation for a full-time job from one of my other part-time gigs that sounded like a great fit for me. That job allowed me to stretch my wings as a baby magazine editor, which I loved. That was pretty lucky!
And the second tingles-inducing job offer came a couple of years into my New York adventure…
It was a secret desire. One I wasn’t sure I could do because my career trajectory thus far hadn’t necessarily or obviously pointed to a career in my desired field. But I had privately shared it with my intuitive coach at the time, and I had written it down in my Evernote as a potential business idea. But the niggle of the idea had always been an interest of mine…
A psychic even predicted it was coming. “Watch out for August. Editing work will come in then,” he said.
While not all of his predictions were correct, this one was.
At the end of August,a book editor—the one who had helped me edit my own book back when she was a budding book editor herself—reached out to me and said she wanted to expand her stable of editors for her business to provide a more thorough editing experience… She thought I might be interested.
Y’all… When she offered me a spot in her stable, I HAPPY DANCED MYSELF OUT. I’m pretty sure I cried. It came out of left field, and it felt like the perfect job for me. Came to discover I loved learning from her and working with her. I loved learning the process of book editing, and couldn’t wait to dive into more in-depth editing types for books. And I’m blessed that I still get to work with her from time to time!
A (literal) handful of books I’ve worked on. Delighted to have a section of my bookshelf dedicated to books I’ve helped to edit or proofread!
Book editing became my absolute favorite job. I get utterly lost in the work while editing—helping the narrative become clearer, polishing up the errors and mistakes, offering words of encouragement when desired, and providing constructive criticism. I still lose time in this work since I’m having so much fun. That could be why I started my own editing business… 😉
Never have I loved a job so much—which is saying something because I’ve been fortunate enough to have loved all of my jobs to some degree.
But it was those excited tingles, that sense of my whole body just buzzing as if I’d been hopped up on a dual coffee-sugar rush—only it didn’t have a crash. Only up and up from there!
That excitement felt like the biggest YES I could have felt when it came to my work.
Reminds me of that saying… If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.
Not that you can’t say yes to things that don’t spark the living daylights out of your veins… You can also feel at peace or a general contentment to know if a decision is right for you.
The trick is to notice what your unique yes/no feels like in your body, so you can make those aligned decisions for yourself.
My hope is that you can find something you feel excited to say YES to very soon.
Basically… My mom wanted to name me Michal, pronounced like Michael, (inspired by one of her friend’s names). And my dad said no.
So, they adapted it and it became more… feminine, I guess?
Well, my mom still got her wish because I cannot count how many times during roll call where “Michael” was called to an overwhelming silence, or where other Michaels in the room hollered out (happened at Starbucks not so long ago), or until they say, “Michael Short?”
And my little voice chimed in from the back with a waving arm, “It’s Mikael!”
Like Michelle but with a K. Mickelle, or like a fairly common spelling McKell. My nickname is Kel, so just add the “Mc” on it. XD
Honestly, if I could be known by just my first name—like Madonna, Beyonce, or Rihanna—I would be thrilled! I love my name that much.
What I don’t really love is how often it’s mispronounced. Correcting people all the time gets exhausting (even if it is part of my job as an editor).
And sometimes correcting folks still doesn’t work. I’ve been called Mikale, Mikayla, Mikella, etc., so many times by folks, even people I’ve known for years, that I’m surprised I haven’t had an identity crisis.
I still remember the essay I wrote, not so subtly directed to my third-grade teacher who consistently emphasized the A in my name—like Mikale. It grated on my skin like a cat’s claws. I really dislike the A being pronounced like that. Her note on my essay read, “Gee, I hope I don’t do that!” Yet her pronunciation didn’t change…
There was one person I allowed to emphasize the A—my paternal grandfather because it’s how he said my name with his slightly remaining English accent, and I loved that his accent crept in on certain words. The way he said the A in my name was more subtle, so it was endearing coming from him.
Occasionally, I’ll allow my brothers and family to call me Michael, as a joke, and I’ll still respond to them. Mostly.
(It’s also oh-so-fun when I get mistaken for a “Michael” over email, and someone responds, “Hey Mike”… I’m not a Mike. Check the signature, folks. XD )
Now that I’ve moved to a multicultural city, I’ve gotten a whole new world of pronunciations for the spelling of my name. I didn’t realize it was such a common spelling throughout the world! The pronunciations differ, and that’s fascinating in itself.
“Mik-AH-yel”… The Spanish pronunciation, for one.
“Meek-AY- il” … Russian-esque.
“MEEK-ell” … French & Swedish—though I do have ancestry from both countries!
There are probably more; those are just the ones I’ve heard most often. It’s been so cool to hear the variations of Mikael!
I feel like my name carries a certain frequency within its spelling and how it’s supposed to be said for my person. All names do, I believe.
And part of me wishes it would be pronounced right more frequently, but what can you do? I know I’m not alone in having to explain how to pronounce my name during introductions.
So, the gift of my name also presents a practice in patience in correcting folks when it’s mispronounced. Which is also a practice in speaking up for myself, I’m now realizing, instead of just letting mispronunciations slide.
That’s why when someone does say my name right the first time, it’s blooming music to my ears and I feel so seen.
(A coach I admire—Amanda Frances—said it correctly recently when she called out a comment I left on one of her livestream events, and my goodness… Can’t remember the last time I felt so elated when someone said my name right the first time without having to ask!)
Overall, though, I feel like our names are important. Names set the stage for the life and the person of who we are. Our names, whether bestowed or chosen, shape us one way or another.
With my unique spelling and pronunciation, I feel like that means I’m just meant to embrace my uniqueness—to love who I am as a fully individualized human (something I think we are all here to learn).
To embrace all the different pieces of me, no matter how esoteric or unusual they are.
To embrace my unique desires and wants, since I never really wanted much of what was modeled to me growing up—I already know I’m a generational curse breaker.
To embrace the ways I feel called to express myself even if it’s not considered the so-called “right way” to promote myself and my work.
And it’s a reminder to stand up and be my own person—to be brave enough to shape my own destiny.
Your name is your name. And you get to choose how you say it and how people address you. There’s power in your name… just as there is power in you.
***
As a fun writing challenge, look up or align the meanings of the character names in your book.
I keep a “spark note” of names I might like to use in future books.
Perhaps you can start a note like that for yourself!
***
If you have a unique spelling to your name, love the story of your name, feel free to hit reply or drop it in the comments!
They were referring to me taking the leap and deciding to move to New York City back in 2014.
I don’t know that I thought I was brave at the time. All I could feel was excitement.
And, frankly, if I hadn’t, I imagine my life would look completely different than it does now.
Everything in me screamed that I desired to move to New York. It was just the thing my soul was telling me to do.
So, my WHY was clear… I had a desire. It made itself known to me so clearly I couldn’t ignore it. And then I started putting the pieces in place so I could do that, even going so far as to get a coach with an accountability program to help me set the groundwork to make this big move.
To be honest, I didn’t even feel all that prepared. From the moment I discovered that New York was the next step for me, I gave myself a year to move out there. Only managed to save up $3,000 in my savings account. I was even lucky to have a friend in the city who was able to vet out the room I hoped to rent, so I could secure a place a month before actually moving out there.
And I jumped.
I didn’t have my freelance writing business anywhere near where I would need it to be to make a sustainable living. Thought that would be enough, and it wasn’t.
Sometimes jumping into something blind can be incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. Looking back, I feel like I was veering dangerously close to the latter.
You can prepare all you can for a big jump, but nothing can truly prepare you for what awaits you when you land. It was scary when I got here but not so much before I made the leap.
From vindictive roommates, being unexpectedly taken advantage of, the struggle of freelance work and the lack of consistency of those paychecks, unpredictable people in the city (definitely have some stories on that front), and having an intuitive/spiritual awakening on top of it all that made me more sensitive… It has not always been easy. At one point, I even contemplated moving out to LA, rather than moving back to Utah, but then I realized it was actually most cost-effective for me to live in NYC where I didn’t need a car and could rent a room for under $1,000.
So, I stayed.
Because I felt deep in my marrow that this was where I was supposed to be. And I was elated to be here every day.
So, it didn’t necessarily feel brave to me. To move out here.
It felt necessary. It felt like something I had to do. Like something was waiting for me out here or something.
Didn’t know what, obviously… Not at that time.
In retrospect, it felt like I was waiting for me. The parts of me that couldn’t express themselves in the place I grew up. Like I had to choose me by making this move. And the evolution hasn’t stopped since.
In a way, choosing me and making the move was brave.
And I think staying—even when certain challenges felt so crippling I was worried how they’d shake out (money being a big one for a long time)—has felt even braver than making the jump.
And I’m so grateful that I stuck it out.
Because no place has ever felt more like home or made me feel more like myself.
Sometimes it can be easy to mistake fear for excitement. The quickening of the heartbeat and breaths, the nervousness that runs through your veins…
Is this fear because it’s exciting and something you actually want?
Or is this something that’s legitimately fearful?
Is it something you want to run toward? Or run away from?
I know firsthand it can be scary to go after what you want for fear of not getting it or failing… But being led by fear is a constricting and suffocating way to go.
Excitement on the other hand… is much more expansive, thrilling, and fun.
It’s easy to be brave when you are running toward something you are excited for.
Not entirely sure what was driving me, but I just knew I wanted to be excellent at typing. All in all, I was a little obsessive with knowing the keyboard inside and out; it was my favorite class for that semester in middle school. It felt easy, but still like a challenge that I knew I could master. Something I knew I could be efficient in. (Do I sound like a projector yet?)
How funny is it that now I find such solace in closing my eyes and let my fingers fly over the keyboard, not having to look down. Knowing instinctually when I make a mistake, and my little right pinkie knows exactly where to pop out for the backspace button so I can keep going without missing a wink.
(Not to say I don’t make mistakes when I’m typing, but they are often minimal. Still proofreading this piece!)
The Bluetooth typewriter keyboard my love gifted me on my last birthday—one of the rare gifts that made me cry happy tears.
And I just realized… my playing field is the keyboard. I love to play here, whether or not I’m looking at it. I can watch the TV and keep typing without having to look at down. Or, like I said before, close my eyes and tune in and see what wants to come through them… My fingers know exactly where to sit so I can hit any key I need to from any point.
And being able to type without looking is so helpful for automatic, channeled writing (how this post started!)… That way I just let the words flow without having to worry about where the keys are on the keypads. I just know, my fingers know—it’s practically second nature to me. So, I’m really grateful to my younger self who found such passion and pleasure in mastering something that would serve her for her entire life…
Aside from choir and theater, my computer classes were my favorite. I loved creating things on computers: I loved writing, especially. I spent my free time writing books on my dads’ computers. Then I learned to and loved building websites. I loved coding. I loved making graphics.
Truthfully, I should change that to LOVE because I still love doing these things, and more—where knowing the keyboard landscape further serves me. And those I work with for that matter!
Somehow this is what’s magical to me right now.
And why is this playing field making itself known now?
Perhaps it’s because I’ve been watching a bit of Grey’s Anatomy this week as my recent obsession with Shonda Rhimes has taken root, and I wanted to see her work at work. Which has been very fun from a writer’s perspective.
And an epsiode I watched, one from the first season when Meredith is wondering if she’s cut out for the job as a surgeon… And she ends the episode talking about how she “loves the playing field”.
And it came to me… This is my playing field. Having a keyboard and a computer in front of my to fill the page with words, stories, pretty photos, or graphics. This is my playing field and I love it. And the thing is, it’s not my only playing field, because I also have my imagination as well…
But this is the playing field that helps me to concretize the playing field of my imagination into something real. Something I can save or print or share online. That’s pretty cool!
While I love writing long hand, especially for journaling… Something about typing on a computer keyboard just brings me peace. Doesn’t even matter what I’m writing.
Because it all feels like play to me. When I’m writing my novels, blogs, or even social posts for my business, something about writing on a keyboard is endlessly fun to me. It’s not so much about crafting the perfect sentence or using big or extravagant words… Just the act of putting words on the page through my fingers. I love it.
Maybe this is why the blank page never frightened me. One of the biggest blocks and fears for many writers is the blank page… but for me, I can look at that page and see possibilities instead, and my fingers itch above the keyboard just to add something to it.
When you know something that well… it’s easier to play in it—to explore and experiment. What a delight that is!
What is it you’ve mastered that’s changed or served your life in ways you couldn’t anticipate? What is your “field” for your work, and how can you see it more as a place of play than just a place to do the work?
No matter what work you do, if you can look at the work through a lens of play…
This is a story about the moment that would change my life forever. A moment that seemed both inevitable and unexpected all at once.
You see, I had built a pretty comfortable life post-college after my hustle of a dance of various jobs in the years following. Eventually, I landed a full-time job in a communications position that didn’t feel life-sucking but felt rather exciting in different ways. I felt truly seen and appreciated by the organization… Needed might be a better term. I felt needed.
This job allowed me to barely afford an apartment in downtown Salt Lake City where I could walk to work (a dream back then) and I could live solo in the most bustling city available to me then. Plus, I got to use skills I was naturally good at, which felt like I was being useful in a way I liked.
Not only was happy with my job, but I filled my evenings with rehearsals and performances for a couple of the local community theaters. In essence, I was doing everything I felt I wanted to do! I could use my skills as a writer and editor at the office, then turn on the glitz, glam, voice, and show in the evenings with other artistic folks who are just as off-beat as I am.
(If you haven’t met that side of me, hello starshine!)
So much of this time I wouldn’t change for anything. I met wonderful people, had a job I enjoyed, and got to engage my creative gifts quite a bit. It felt very balanced. And I was content, if not happy, with how I was living.
That’s why this felt so… jarring.
Since I was (and still am) a very efficient worker, I’d often start my mornings with inspirational readings from a couple of email subscriptions to boost my energy and spirit. Primarily, at the time, I read the DIY Daily, which was chockfull of inspiring entrepreneurial folks, doing all kinds of cool things with their lives, making waves, and doing things I thought were quite revolutionary at the time. It also catered to musicians and other artists as well, so it hit all the notes that felt compelling to me. As I’d read these articles, important life questions would be presented, but there were a couple that really stuck out to me.
Keep in mind, at this time, I was very content with work, loved living on my own, loved the show I was in at the time as I had been recently cast as Rapunzel in Into the Woods, and was fresh off a dream role experience as Doralee in 9 to 5: The Musical.
Things were GOOD in my book.
So, I sat back in my spindly office chair pondering these questions from my little cubicle. Closing my eyes, I took a breath and asked myself:
When I look at my life, could I see myself doing what I am doing now for the rest of my life and be happy doing it?
Nope.
I knew in my bones that would make me feel stagnant… And being in motion, though scary, is far more fulfilling to me than staying in the same place, doing the same things, over and over again, until I return to the ethers.
And this question surprisingly got to me:
Would you want your boss’s job/life?
Now, don’t get me wrong… I very much respect and enjoyed working for the bosses I’ve had—they are tremendous individuals who’ve done great work, continuing to grow and expand into new arenas. But at that time… When I thought about the kind of life they had in Utah where they were executives at their organizations, had loving families in the suburbs of Salt Lake, yada yada yada…
I felt a visceral “no” throughout my whole body.
I don’t want that.
I’ve never wanted that.
So, that made me schlump forward.
What the heck did I want then?
Because it certainly wasn’t that kind of future in Utah.
In a flash, I felt different versions of myself clamoring for attention.
I thought of the 12-year-old girl who wanted nothing more than to grow up so she could move out of the house and live independently without the chaos that comes with growing up in a blended family of divorce, despite how supportive and loving it was still.
I thought of the 16-year-old me who so badly wanted to attend Juilliard in New York City, but upon realizing the cost of such a venture, opted to get her bachelor’s degree at a state university, attended a summer program at Berklee instead (still ridiculously expensive), then go from there.
I thought of the 19-year-old who, after studying voice and music since childhood, switched gears from a voice performance major to an English literature major, excusing away the shift with a lock jaw diagnosis over the summer. But really she just didn’t like the environment, hated the idea of losing the enjoyment of one of her main forms of expression, and felt like if she had to do college, she wanted to be challenged in something she was actually interested in learning more about.
(Also a secret until now: I put in the change order for my degree before my jaw locked shut… I still remember it clicking like a stuck typewriter at the meeting with my student counselor.)
And I thought of my 25-year-old self at that present moment, who was committed to a 9-to-5 job, in an office, five days a week, where—though doubly fulfilled through community theatre endeavors—was often exhausted, falling into binge-watching TV shows to relax (not knocking it… it works), and feeling like there was only so much I could do from that space. I could feel the ceiling and the time crunch all around me, especially when I realized that wasn’t all that I wanted out of life.
Okay…If that’s not the life for me, what is?
What is it I most desire to do?
Like a beacon of white, I saw the words in my mind:
New York City.
And I knew…
It was something that had been on my radar forever. Movies and TV shows based in New York (verrrry glamorized, by the way… wait ’til you see the cat-sized rats, the tiny and pricey apartments, and the smelly streets/subways… and the pandemic made it worse).
I had visited at age 16 with my performance troupe, falling in love on day one, and deciding then and there that I would live in New York one day.
New York was always something on the horizon. Maybe. Someday.
When I decided to make the leap, I labeled the guise of wanting to move to New York as wanting to pursue my performing ambitions. And sure, those existed to a degree and were relatively true at the time. But honestly?
I just felt in my soul that that was where I needed to be. I needed to move to New York, even though the reasons weren’t entirely clear why.
First night in NYC
And literally one year and ten days later, I stepped into the first room I rented in New York, just a block away from the Port Authority Bus Terminal—right near Times Square (why this was not an ideal place to live, but also why it was, is a story for another day).
But it took that moment to sit back. It took assessing my life, looking at it how it was, and anticipating—if I stayed on that track—how it might look if I kept going down that path… And then asked what it was I truly wanted.
Have you ever done that with yourself, lovely?
I think it might be worth it.
Actually, it is worth it. You’re worth it. Go ahead.
Take a deep breath and ask yourself:
What is it I most desire to do?
I hope something that stirs your soul comes to mind.
***
Originally published on magicwithmikael.substack.com
We had a strange visitor the other day. A visitor that made me immediately grab for a swatter.
It flew like nothing else we had seen in the apartment. We’ve had moths, mosquitos, flies… But this looked different. Like a small beetle or something. Since it decided to camp out so high on our wall, we couldn’t get a really good look at it.
And our evening quickly turned into a bug-watching night.
“I’ll grab the binoculars,” my love said before disappearing into the bedroom.
“Will we be able to see it since we are already so close?” I asked, glancing up at the little bug on the lime green wall above our LED upright lamp.
“One way to find out!”
After going back and forth, getting dust from the unused binoculars caught in my eyelashes, seeing wobbly views from shaking hands from trying to adjust the knobs and dials on the little seeing contraption, changing positions all over the room, my love announces from the couch that he can see it! I take the binoculars and continue to stand in the middle of the room.
All I can see is a blurry green wall and a fuzzy little brown dot. Still I couldn’t make out what the little bugger was. “Why can’t I see this thing?” I ask, needing to brush more dust from my eyelash, because I’m sure that wasn’t helping either.
Again, another back-and-forth dance resumed with my love and I continuing to change the dials and knobs until he says he can see the little thing crystal clear. I take a look through the binoculars, still to no avail.
I try to change my position, from across the little bug, from right beneath it at a funky angle so I can sit on the couch (but then subsequently tweak my neck), to lying down on the pillows next to me before I can see. Closing one eye, leaving the other open…. Just trying to see.
What my love hadn’t told me was that the dial only affected the right eye, so I started believing my astigmatism was at work and why I couldn’t see the critter clearly since the right lens is zoomed in about twice the size of the left.
(I felt like a real dork when I realized it was the binoculars doing that, and not my “everything-looks-bigger-over-here” astigmatism in my right eye.)
“Aha!” I finally yell, triumphant!
A lady bug! A little yellow lady bug was our unexpected guest. Still, it was hard to see her, and my massive hands were shaking around the tiny binoculars they dwarfed.
We even debated what color the lady bug looked like because it certainly wasn’t red. Yellow? Brown? Tan? We landed on yellow; I had thought it was a hornet at first since I had caught a flash of yellow when it flew away from the wall only to land two feet away from it’s original spot.
Want to know why I finally saw the lady bug clearly?
I had to sit in the exact position, in the same spot on the couch, that my love was sitting in. Any other position or perspective from the room could not provide the clarity of sight with the binoculars that that singular spot could.
Then, of course, I refused to move from that space as I observed the uncommonly colored lady bug as it perched on our wall for a while. We both decided to see what spiritual messages the yellow lady bug might carry (you can discover that here).
And, as I got to thinking—whilst trying to make a little spa for the lady bug to play in, have a drink or a fruity snack from—this was an incredible example of perspective and how no one will see things the way you do. They can wear your clothes, they can learn to move like you, work in a similar job as you…
But they cannot see what you see or the way that you see it.
Your perspective is uniquely your perspective. No one else will see the world as you do. No one else will experience the same things as you even if you’re doing the same activities. Because they are simply not you.
Your perspective is unique. Your thoughts, your feelings, your experiences, your upbringing, how you view things, what triggers you, what makes you smile… So many fractals that just make up pieces of you will effect your perspective.
And with that in mind…
With your perspective, you get to see the world through your own personal lens. And that means no one will communicate the things you yearn to express in the way you do (and will).
So, why (if you ever doubt yourself because other people might be doing what you desire to do) would you ever worry about not stepping into your light and sharing your perspective and being concerned about sounding like someone else? Because you won’t!
The entire make up of your life experiences make you you. Just like someone else’s experience will determine their own perspective.
Just like my upbringing in Utah in a very religious family-centric community colors my perspective, your own experiences will provide a certain type of lens for your perspective.
This is why your voice matters, why each voice matters. This is why your unique story matters. Only you can tell your story in a way that no one else can.
You may think other people have done it before, but they haven’t. They haven’t done it as only you could do it. Only you can.
We all have our own personalities, paths, and yes, perspectives, too.
And when you share your perspective—your voice and stories—then others can relate to and understand you better. It’s when you share the details that make you you that people can also see themselves. How we are alike. How we are different. And how our differences create the kaleidoscope that makes life so interesting and dynamic.
It’s when we share our perspectives that we can more easily step into each other’s shoes, even if just for a moment… For a little perspective. 😉
Now that’s quite the connection to make.
So, I challenge you to embrace your unique perspective, insights, and stories…
You never know what your light can do in this world when you express your unique perspective, or who you might inspire through the stories that only you can share.
Who knows… A lady bug, or other creature, might visit to share their wisdom with you too.
Have a wonderful week, lovely.
(The lady bug ended up staying for almost three days… I hope they liked the snack and water I left for them.)
I want to tell you how and why The Intuitive Editor was born.
Because I realize I haven’t told anyone except my coach in 2021…
Why It All Began
The Intuitive Editor was born because writing is one of the most natural things I do. It’s not something I’ve ever felt self-conscious about. And it was something I became known and recognized for. It’s been my selling point for every job I’ve held.
I’ve always been a writer, pouring stories onto pages since I learned how to write.
And just like writing, reading fills my soul.
Both reading & writing are where my playtime, my learning, my growth, my self-reflection, and my creativity live and thrive.
I love writing in all the ways it serves me and all the ways I can create new things with just words. I can transport and change others just like what I’ve read has transported and changed me throughout my life.
From Writing to Proofreading…
From my love of writing in all the work and all the jobs I’ve done, I began to love improving writing.
Taking an article and cleaning it up. Making sure headlines and lower thirds are accurate. Proofing emails and brochures before they go out. Shiny, sparkly, and clear.
The writing jobs beautifully segued into editing and proofreading. I fell into it and fell in love.
There’s nothing like taking a piece of writing and polishing it up so it’s free of errors and clear in its message. Scrubbing out all those errors, typos, and misused verb tenses littering the path along the way.
And I love learning about how to improve my writing and editing skills. Those two passions co-exist within me.
The more I write, the better I get.
The more I edit, the better I get at both writing and editing.
Seems like a win-win, no?
A Call to Pursue My Joy
When it became clear to me during the pandemic that I needed to be writing more, that writing calls me more than anything else I do… I found that my voice and stories needed the space, energy, and freedom to pour from me.
And the work I was doing… Needed a big adjustment to allow that.
While I love writing in all its facets, freelance writing is actually quite draining for me. In multiple ways. Energetically and creatively.
I knew I needed to find work and build a career that wouldn’t drain my creative juices so much and also felt enjoyable because… I’m simply not available for work I don’t enjoy. I know I won’t be motivated to do it if enjoyment isn’t there, and that’s not fair to anyone.
So, I sat down and explored what work I most loved to do that didn’t suck my creative juices dry.
Enter editing…
Every single job I’ve had, I have proofread, copyedited, and edited countless files and documents. And that’s always been my favorite part of every job!
In every office, I became the go-to proofreader, earning the moniker “The Machine” since I was so efficient and accurate in catching errors and maintaining style guides prior to print, post, or broadcast.
Even when a close friend or family member sent me something for a quick once-over, I’d get so excited that I would literally drop everything to proofread something for them to help. It became my favorite way to help loved ones.
Serendipitously, a few years back, I was invited to join a book editing firm as a book editor and copyeditor. And honestly? That was the most excited for a job that I’ve ever been. And it’s been the best job ever—plus, I get to work with a dear friend and mentor who saw my potential. <3
What It All Boils Down To…
I love diving into something to make it better. I love correcting the errors and providing guidance for the writer to improve their work in the future. That’s ridiculously fun for me, and I can literally do it for hours without looking up.
Sometimes it feels like alchemy… Taking something and making it shine. Spinning words and stories into gold.
That’s it… I’m a story alchemist.
That obsession and excitement to do that kind of work was my sign—my billboard from the Universe—for what kind of work I should be doing.
Then I Started My Business!
So, now I’m here, with my own editing business. One that incorporates my core strengths: my intuition, writing, and editing prowess. It really is a perfect marriage of my skills.
And in creating this business, my hope and dream is that my editing business will support other writers & creatives live a more balanced and creatively enriched life while polishing up their stories and increasing their potency—while also maintaining my own creative writing practice.
When it comes time for me to send my books out into the world, you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be hiring an editor or two myself.
After all, even editors need editors!
Want to Work With Me?
So, if you’re ready to step into a more divinely led creative path, putting your stories onto the page, and building a creative practice that’s in harmony with the rest of your life… I’d be tickled & honored to help you shape and polish your written works too.
From my working chair, not so long ago, I found myself on an Instagram page of another book editor. And they were killing it.
(Or at least that’s what it looks like on social media, and we all know how much of that is just appearances…)
I was totally into what they were sharing. Thought their social media game was on point. Looked like they were #bookedandblessed in every pun imaginable. Discovered we had quite a bit in common… And then I noticed they were 20 years old and started their business around the same time as me.
Cue my mood crashing, as a 30+ year-old, who only recently decided to pursue an editorial business after years of trying to identify the the skills I most wanted to use to help people. (And who has also had a decade-plus of professional experience this young person has not had, but that certainly wasn’t coming to mind at that moment.)
I fell into the comparison trap… hard.
The comparisonitis. I drank the compareschläger (as Marie Forleo calls it). The whole bottle, probably. Tears were shed, though I strongly suspect the full moon played a part as well in heightening emotions. Either way, my confidence tanked, the comparisonitis the culprit.
This surprised me, honestly… I am solidly in the “the only person I compete with is myself” camp. Cheering people on as they rock what they’re doing is one of my very favorite things.
Most of the time, I have no reason to compete or compare myself to anyone else because I know everyone is their own unique person, meant to do great things in their world with their gifts and talents. I think that is one of the most beautiful things in this world!
And I still found myself comparing my business to another book editor’s social media profile.
Because I’m human. And humans tend to fall into the comparison trap with each other, even without trying to.
The Reality Check
Calming myself down, especially with thanks to my partner, I remembered that this person is not me. And I am not them. And though we are similar, we do not do our work in the same way. They can rock their social media game while I wish I could bag social media all together. All they are doing that I wish I was doing… I don’t have to do it and I do not have to do it like them.
I can release my grip on the compareschläger, put my head down, listen to what my own heart has to say, and then put in the work to do the work that I actually want to do.
Because, once I sobered myself up, I realized that this instance of comparisonitis gave me a glaring billboard for the work I really want to do.
The book editing and copyediting is the work I truly want to do.
You don’t compare yourself to people who are doing things you have no interest in… You compare yourself to the people who are doing what you truly want to do.
This is why comparing yourself to others and looking at where you get jealous of other people can actually be a helpful tool. It may not feel good in the moment; however, it can point you in the direction of where you most want to move in.
How to Use Comparison to Find Your Direction
Start to notice when you get jealous of someone else or find yourself falling into the comparison trap. And ask yourself why those feelings are arising.
You’re jealous of that woman who can work from the beach on her laptop? How can you create that feeling with your own work from where you’re at until you can make that a reality for yourself?
You find yourself comparing your achievements to peer who seems much further along than you? What is it about what they have or are doing that you seek?
Odds are, because there’s something there, something you desire on a much deeper level, that you haven’t achieved yet… Or maybe even something you haven’t acknowledged that you want.
I have a feeling you’ll find your own aha moment in asking why the feelings of comparison and jealousy come up, especially if you’ve been questioning your purpose, direction, or next steps. I know I did.
Find out what the desire is—the desire hidden deep underneath the mask of comparing yourself to another—and start moving toward it.
So, you may see a refocus from me on sharing more about the book editing and copyediting work. I love the intuitive side of my business, and I don’t want to let it take away from the editorial side of things that I utterly love doing… My intuition supports my hard-earned editing skills, and it thrills me to no end to see how I can help others with these gifts.
And I plan on using any social media stalking of other editors for inspiration and ideas, not comparison. If it start falling into the comparison mire again, I’ll know to pull myself out before it gets too far. Because we all know that can work against you rather than for you.
Remember that only you can do the work you were put on this earth to do with the gifts that only you have. No one can do it like you do… So keep going, especially when comparison comes along to try and derail you. Let the comparison be fuel for you to pinpoint the next steps for you to reach for your dreams.
Want to join me in putting down the compareschläger, putting your head down, listening to your heart, and doing the work you really, really want to do? See you there. <3
It’s a story that’s been brewing within me since high school, but somehow now is the time that it feels right to get it all fleshed out. It’s taking directions I don’t think I was expecting when I first started envisioning it 15 years ago, and I find that exciting. I have a general map of where it’s going but also releasing the reins to see how the story wants to be told…
I’ve always loved writing. As a little kid, I was the kid sitting in the shadows of the big brick building, notebook in hand and just jotting down story ideas as they came to me. I can’t count how many stories I’ve written, but just writing stories alone has always felt natural—creating characters and new worlds to explore as I wrote them down.
It came as no surprise when a healer in NYC told me that my sacral chakra was thumping and bumping with stories that wanted to be born, like warriors yearning to burst through into the world.
When the pandemic began, it felt important to return to my creative writing practice. As something to create, keep myself engaged, and to give myself permission to work on something I really wanted to work on.
My mermaid novel, the one I’m presently working on, practically danced onto the stage of my mind and said, “It’s my turn!”
While I previously self-published my first novel in 2015, I cannot say I have any expectations for this mermaid book… Kind of like I have no expectations as for how the nitty-gritties of the storyline will work out, as I let the inspirations come as I go. I’m typically a pantser (writing by the seat of your pants, a NaNoWriMo term), not a plotter, though I do believe an outline can be helpful. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this book yet, how I want it to be published, if I want to go self-publishing again, or if I think I’d like to shop it to agents or to a traditional publishing house.
I’m finding that I love just being in the process of writing it, without any expectation of what will come of it once the book is fully written—though I can already tell it’s a book of epic proportions. Somehow, this book has been transforming into an epic environmentalist fantasy mermaid rescue tale (or tail?), and it’s quite a thrill of a ride to see how it all unfolds.
Which leads me to what I’m musing on today…
Expectations.
Where, how, and why we have them, and how they ultimately serve us and our creativity. Particularly in regards to our dreams or what we want to accomplish.
This morning, in my reading time, I kept coming across the idea that God/the Universe/Source experiences life and itself through us as human beings. That expectations can get in the way of truly experiencing life to the fullest and essentially separates us from what IS by focusing on the future rather than the present. It does harken back to the whole “focus on the journey, not the end result” concept. How you can never truly know how something will work out and how expectations can set you up for disappointment, resentment, or even anger. (From Conversations withGod, Vol. I)
The idea of releasing expectations to allow yourself to immerse into the experience you feel inspired to take, from my understanding, is how things can turn out even more magical than you plan for. Allowing yourself to do something for the joy and pleasure of it without having to think about the end result can open up universal possibilities to fill in the gaps and create something more than you imagine.
Why not take a passionate step forward even if you can’t see the way ahead or what’s at the end of the road? Why not enjoy the journey toward something you want, but also allow yourself to be open to something even greater if you take inspired action?
Life wants to be fulfilled through us. Life yearns to be experienced just as we as humans yearn to experience life. If we put expectations on everything that will happen to us or how things will turn out, we could cut ourselves off from the universal flow that wants to work with us. We cut ourselves off by focusing on the future outcomes rather than staying present in the moment to our needs and inspirations as they come.
By staying open, by releasing attachment to outcomes or results, we open the doors to be surprised by life, by the universe, by the greater power present in every creation in this world…
So, I invite you to take a look at where you may be harboring expectations when it comes to your dreams, how you can release your hold on them, and how you can start taking inspired action just because that’s what feels right to you in the present moment.
Do something just to do it, because you love it. Not because it will get you something, somewhere, or someone. Focus on how it feels to do it in the moment so you can carry that feeling with you—because, ultimately, it’s the feeling of what we desire that we are chasing.
Stay present. Take a breath. Release expectations for how it will go or end.
And go write that book.* Just to do it.
***
* – Or any other activity you feel lit up by. 😉
As a writer, I’ve been through the editorial process with my own editor (and plan to again—even editors have editors). It’s not as scary as you might think! I credit my editor with helping my story to truly come out how it was meant to… And I want to help you do that too!
If you’re in the market for an editor who also knows what it’s like to be in the writer’s shoes (thus knows how to make it more fun and easeful), check out my editorial services here. I look forward to hearing from you!
